


you're my sunshine (but you don't smile for me)

by oathsworn (onelastchence)



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8001715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onelastchence/pseuds/oathsworn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sungu is <i>not</i> the League of Legends, neither can he <i>become</i> the League of Legends. But sometimes, sometimes he really wishes he could.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're my sunshine (but you don't smile for me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sightstone (symmetrophobic)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/symmetrophobic/gifts).



> For Angel, who was, when we first met more than 18 months ago in another fandom, the Faker to my Blank. (But now she's more the GorillA to my PraY i.e. [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA0wt0IHa9k&t=4m43s) video)

Sungu is not the League of Legends.

 

That much is clear. He’s Kang Sungu, and he’s _human_ , for starters. He can play League of Legends, but he can’t _be_ the League of Legends. It’s impossible for him to become a video game.

 

But sometimes, sometimes Sungu really wishes he could.

 

It’s not because he’s so in love with the game that he wishes he could become it, no. League was fun, yes, but it’s lost some of its charm when he started being a pro-gamer, when it became his job and not just his past time. He knows of the other pro-gamers who’ve gone through the same thing as he has - Junsik hyung’s one of them - where the game just isn’t _fun_ any more.

 

Why does Sungu want to become the League of Legends, then, you ask?

 

It’s because it’s the only thing that can bring out _that_ smile of Sanghyeok’s.

 

 _That_ smile is something rarely seen. Sungu gets to see it once in a while, if he turns around at the right moment during their practice sessions at night, or when they win a major tournament. The last time Sungu had managed to see that smile had been when Ranked was down, and Sanghyeok had been pulled into [a silly game with pro-gamers who were as bored as he was.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTb9jfTD3tE)

 

It was mesmerizing.

 

Sungu, despite being Sanghyeok’s boyfriend, had never seen that smile directed towards him. Oh, you might say, but what about IEM Katowice? What about LCK Spring Finals 2016? MSI 2016? But we’re talking about _Sungu_ here, and not Blank. Yes, Sungu is aware that, as a player, his contributions to the team have led to their victory and thus pulled that smile from Sanghyeok before. But as Sungu, as just Sanghyeok’s boyfriend, Sungu has never seen that smile.

 

It’s something that he’s come to terms with. There is, of course, a part of him that tells him that it’s not something he has to accept as reality, but Sungu always pushes that part back into the deep recesses of his mind. Every smile that Sanghyeok shoots Blank, after all, is worth it.

 

They’re in the Philippines for their team vacation, and Sungu has to hide his excitement. Jaewan hyung’s already claimed Sungung hyung as a roommate, and Junsik hyung’s rooming with Hoseong hyung, which leaves himself and Sanghyeok hyung to room together. Sungu doesn’t really understand _why_ Sungung hyung and Hoseong hyung aren’t rooming together, but he figures it doesn’t really matter.

 

Hoseong hyung will find his way to Sungung hyung.

 

They’re out snorkelling, and Sungu watches as all of his hyungs jump into the water, everyone looking extremely awkward with the snorkel in their mouth. Sungu giggles, then falls into the water himself, careful not to get any water into the air tube.

 

There’s something really soothing about being in water as clear as Cebu’s. Sungu’s so used to the murky water of the Han River that actually being able to see the aquatic life around him is something really, really new. Fascinated by the fishes and coral, Sungu forgets, for a moment, the stress that comes from being a pro-gamer.

 

He comes up for a bit of a breather - he still isn’t quite used to breathing through his mouth - he hears the shouts of the locals as an air tube disappears when someone dives down. Sungu panics, scanning his periphery to see which one of his teammates it is, only to see Jaewan hyung wave him off.

 

Sanghyeok emerges from the water, pulling out his snorkel with one hand and holding something in the other. He’s grinning smugly, and Sungu tilts his head to take a better look at the thing he’s holding in his hand to realize that it’s a seashell. It’s very pretty, and Sungu can - sort of - see why Sanghyeok dived down for it. They aren’t in really deep waters, so he isn’t in that much danger of drowning, if at all.

 

Sanghyeok washes the shell with seawater, scrubbing at it with his fingers, and Sungu glances perplexedly at his boyfriend before shrugging it off and continuing to snorkel. Sanghyeok probably wanted to take something home as a souvenir and found the shell pretty enough to be one.

 

It’s only when they’re back in their hotel room, tired out and stuffed from dinner, that Sanghyeok takes out the shell again. Sungu thinks that he’s going to take a look at it, so he doesn’t really pay much attention, fiddling with his phone, but Sanghyeok turns to him and holds out the shell. “Sungu-ah,” He calls, and Sungu looks up from his phone to blink at him. “For you.”

 

Sungu reaches out to take hold of the shell with both hands, looking down at it as though it were something precious - and it is! He smiles down shakily at it, and wraps both hands around it as though to keep it safe, then beams up at Sanghyeok. “Thank you, hyung!” He says, his eyes crinkled into tiny, adorable crescents. “I’ll make sure to take really good care of it.”

 

And it’s those words, those tiny words that Sungu says that makes Sanghyeok’s face light up with happiness, and that smile, _that smile_ , the one that Sungu has never been able to earn, has never seen directed at him, at Kang Sungu, spreads itself across Sanghyeok’s face.

 

Sungu is stunned, and his smile falters a little to be replaced with wonder, one hand putting the shell down into his lap while the other one quickly reaches up to trace the edges of the beautiful smile. It’s soon wiped away, and in its place is worry, confusion, and Sungu internally mourns the disappearance of that smile.

 

“What’s wrong?” Sanghyeok asks. “Are you okay, Sungu? Did I do anything?”

 

Sungu shakes his head rapidly. He doesn’t really know how to say it, how to tell his boyfriend that he feels inadequate, that he knows that he will never compare to a game, never make Sanghyeok as happy as League of Legends can. He trembles slightly, worried, biting down onto his lower lip in his anxiousness.

 

Sanghyeok reaches out to gently touch Sungu’s lip, frowning. “You’ll draw blood if you bite down any harder,” He scolds. “Tell me what’s wrong?”

 

Inhaling, Sungu tells Sanghyeok what’s been bothering him, and with every word, Sanghyeok’s expression gets a little darker, a little more apologetic, and by the time Sungu is done with: “And I just- I’ve never seen you smile like that at me, as just- Just Sungu before now. I know it’s stupid because you _do_ smile at me when we win but I- I want to- It’s not the same.” He finishes lamely, feeling like a child.

 

Sanghyeok looks down at his hands for a while, and Sungu worries on his bottom lip again. Sanghyeok sighs and tilts his head up to look Sungu in the eye, once again touching his bottom lip to get Sungu to stop biting down on it. “I’m sorry.”

 

Sungu opens his mouth to retort, but Sanghyeok places a finger on his lips in the universal gesture of silence. “I’m sorry, really. I never showed emotion because, well, you know that I’m not good at it. And for some reason I felt that it would be weird or seen as a weakness if I were to show it.” Sanghyeok chuckles here, albeit a little humourlessly. “I know it’s a weak excuse and doesn’t let me off the hook considering how much it must have bothered you, but I’m sorry.”

 

“From now on, I’ll try to be more affectionate, okay? For you.”

 

Sungu shakes a little, with emotion, then nods shakily. He sets the shell down on the bedside table before flinging himself into Sanghyeok’s embrace and sobbing into his shoulder. “Only as much- As you’re okay, with though,” Sungu manages to get out amidst his hiccups. “Only what you’re comfortable with.”

 

Sanghyeok laughs, and nods. Sungu continues to hiccup and his tears wet Sanghyeok’s shirt, and Sanghyeok, really, the worst boyfriend _ever_ , is still laughing at him even as he cries.

 

“You’re horrible,” Sungu pouts a couple of minutes later when he’s calmed down, and Sanghyeok laughs again, that beautiful, _beautiful_ smile lighting up his face even as he reaches to wipe the tear tracks from Sungu’s cheeks.

 

“I know,” He grins. “But you love me.”

 

Sungu pouts even harder at that, but quickly turns away to bury his face into his pillow and mumble. “Yeah.”

 

Sungu can’t see it this time, what with his face buried into the pillow, but the grin on Sanghyeok’s face is positively _blinding_.

**Author's Note:**

> One day I will write long fics for this fandom. Today is not that day. But until that arrives, do leave kudos and comment if you liked this, and perhaps head over to [my twitter](https://twitter.com/blankingonyou) to yell with/at me!
> 
> This is not necessarily in the same verse as [the world's worst boyfriend](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7755949) but can be taken as such.
> 
> I will also one day write this pairing without Sungu being sad and Sanghyeok needing to grow up, but, very evidently, today is also not that day.
> 
> While you are here, please look at [this](https://twitter.com/bbosyuk/status/774439699582586881) obnoxiously cute gif of this pairing.


End file.
